


Watch How You Play

by Anonymous



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 03:04:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10958322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Kaoru struggles with the self-imposed separation between himself and Hikaru. He knows it'll be good for both of them to grow as individuals, but can't seem to reconcile this with something unidentifiable that has built up within him.





	Watch How You Play

**Author's Note:**

> This is a super old fic I had up on ff.net that never got finished. I have since decided to finish it, but I forgot my login info so I decided to put it up over here. It has been a long time since I've written within this fandom so please be gentle with me as I find my groove again. Is there anyone still interested in Ouran anymore?
> 
> This was not beta-ed. Any and all mistakes are mine.

While sprawled out on the vast empty bed of his seemingly desolate room, Kaoru heaved a deep sigh as if he was seriously disappointed about something. In all actuality, he was, but he knew he had no right to be. After all, it was Kaoru's suggestion that the twins become less dependent on each other and would therefore no longer share a room. Still, the separation did feel a bit off to the younger twin. He was so used to spending almost all of his time with Hikaru that it just didn't feel right. However, somehow Kaoru managed to buck up and tell himself that it only felt weird because it was all he knew. He had to get used to being divided from his other half.

He pressed his head against the soft down pillows and pulled the duvet over his face with a groan, feeling absolutely no desire to get up in spite of knowing he had to. Today was a school day and the sun was already beginning to peek into his room through the curtains. Momentarily, Kaoru recalled glaring back at those first few rays of sun while lying next to his brother. To some people, their relationship might've seemed a little twisted, but the redhead was thoroughly comfortable with it. That is, until he realized how poisonous it might be. How codependent the two of them seemed to have become. The male narrowed his eyes and sent a wayward glance toward the door before finally deciding to get up from his bed. Funny that he wanted Hikaru to become more independent from him when he felt he was the one who was so cripplingly dependent. Sitting up straight up, Kaoru mentally shrugged at that last thought, opting to sweep it under the proverbial rug for (much) later inspection before rising entirely from the giant bed in the middle of his room. He headed toward the closet and pulled out one of his clean uniforms, finally moving to go through the motions of his day

The door had been locked since the younger twin had gone to bed last night, a ritual that was still strange to him but seemed necessary nevertheless. If the door remained unlocked then it was possible and likely that Hikaru might come in without notice and this was behavior the separation of rooms was meant to discourage. The two of them needed to spend more time alone and away from each other lest their relationship becomes so hopelessly tangled neither could grow beyond a certain point. Kaoru certainly did not want this for his brother or himself and took whatever steps he thought might assist in their development as individuals. So locking his own bedroom door before he went to sleep each night had to become habit and it would remain so throughout the morning as he got ready. At least, Kaoru thought it best to do so for this morning.

Removing his sleep pants and in the process of getting his uniform on, Kaoru stopped only for a moment because he thought he’d heard a soft sound coming from just outside his door. In his current state of undress (black slacks were pulled up, but unbuttoned so they hung open around his thin hips and white shirt draped loosely around his shoulders), he hoped the maids with keys for several rooms around the house, his own included, had the decency to knock before barging right in. After staring the door for a relatively long moment of silence, the redhead concluded it was likely nothing of import he’d heard at his door and took in a breath as he slowly pulled the black slacks up from where they’d begun to sag without anything really keeping them up and began to button them. It just felt so off to be alone in this room now. Kaoru knew it had been him who had made the initial suggestion, but that didn't mean he liked the arrangements very much. Even so, he knew all of this was for the best and he just had to soldier through it. Eventually, things would seem as normal as they had before.

It was when the younger Hitachiin was about to button up his shirt that a harsh pounding was heard at the door. Releasing a heavy sigh, topaz hues cast over to the aforementioned hunk of wood. He’d hoped his earlier assumption that no one had indeed been at his door was correct and was disappointed to find it wasn’t. The younger Hitchiin was fairly certain he knew who was at his door and was assured in this when a voice rung out on the other side. One that was seemingly identical to his own, but still had an obvious variation to it---- at least, it was obvious to Kaoru.

"Kaoru! Why is your door locked?" Hikaru's voice had a hint of irritation to it and Kaoru stared at the door with a hard look on his face as if he could see his twin standing there clear as day.  
As a response, the younger pressed his lips together and continued dressing silently, effectively giving the impression to Hikaru that he was being ignored. Kaoru finished buttoning up his uniform shirt and turned around back to the closet he often swapped clothes with his twin from (perhaps that practice would now also come to an end). 

The pounding on the door came again, but this time a lot harder and Kaoru was almost positive he heard his brother swear behind the piece of wood. "Shit Kaoru! What's up with you lately?" While it was obvious to anyone that the older Hitachiin was indeed displeased with the current state of things, the intonation of Hikaru's voice insinuated told Kaoru that his twin was more concerned than angry. He was just having a hard time expressing it. After a few seconds of silence on both ends ---of Hikaru waiting on a response from Kaoru that was not coming, the sound of receding footsteps could be heard in the hallway. More of a shuffle than anything, as if the elder was hoping the slower he moved the more likely it was Kaoru would open the door and talk to him. 

Kaoru let his brows furrow as his hardened expression crumpled into something a bit more defeated. He slumped himself against the bed frame, pressing his back to the mattress. He took in a deep, shaky breath and let it out sharply. Once he'd heard Hikaru's voice, Kaoru had wanted to rush to the door and swing it open, but he was wondering if maybe tough love would do the other better. If it took him getting Hikaru to hate him, so Kaoru could set his twin free and the two of them could become more whole individuals than that was what he had to do. Of course, that didn't leave too much room for the younger's feelings. In spite of the fact that he knew this was a good move for them and something both of them needed, dep inside he was afraid it would form a rift between them too large to ever cross. Yes, Kaoru wanted both his brother and himself to develop as two distinct people, but he didn’t want to lose the closeness he had with Hikaru in the process. Eyes begin to well up as he thinks about it and a deep frown etches over the younger Hitachiin’s face. He’s angry with the circumstances, but mostly with himself for getting upset about them. He shouldn’t be so bothered. It’s just--- it was a very taxing experience trying to set your other half free when every fiber of your being wanted to hold onto them.

Quickly composing himself, he stood from the position where he'd been flopped down and finished getting ready before meandering out of his room. Within a few moments, Kaoru was met with his brother eating breakfast in the dining room. His presence did not go unnoticed as Hikaru gave a quick upward glance when Kaoru entered the room. Kaoru felt a slight smile tug at his lips as his eyes met with those of his twin and the expression was reciprocated. An exchange that somehow made the younger twin feel as though his earlier worries were unfounded and he needn’t have let them get him so down as he had. Instead of the heavy dread now weighing his stomach down, now a swirling sensation took over. Something light, but not altogether welcome despite how nice a change it was. Did he just get butterflies from his brother smiling at him? How utterly ridiculous. 

The frown returned to Kaoru’s features and he directed his gaze to his plate of food, opting not to look at Hikaru for the remainder of the morning. He couldn’t risk that swooping feeling to take over his insides again. It just seemed rather stupid for one to get such a feeling from one’s own brother. Regardless of the circumstances. Kaoru’s change in demeanor did not go unnoticed, though, and Hikaru was obviously upset by it. The elder released a breath and set down the fork he’d been using to eat with, fixing his twin with a concerned stare. Opening his mouth about to speak, Hikaru is cut off by Kaoru who is still glaring hard at his breakfast as if it has offended him simply by existing. "I'm sorry Hikaru. I just…" But the younger twin couldn't finish his sentence. He didn't know how. Simple words could not express the complexity of what he wanted to convey to his brother and even if they could, Kaoru wasn’t sure he even knew what he wanted to say. Whatever this new thing was that had twisted up inside of him, he wanted nothing to do with it. There wasn’t any more room for something else that could get between himself and his twin without the space between them seeming canyon-like in it’s inability to be crossed.

**Author's Note:**

> I have like 2 other chapters already written up and have a direction I want to go with as I work on the rest. I'm unsure how long I'll make this, but we'll see. Next chapter should be up in a few days.


End file.
